Wednesday, January 04, 2006

goofyforjesus

She said...

Well, it's been a couple of weeks, I think, since I posted anything to the ttasot. Things were looking better with a guy I was dating but that backfired QUICKLY. Poof - over. Just like that. Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde syndrome, big time. No loss, especially after I found his profile on match.com. See, Jackson and I and another friend went to a party on NYE. We met an engaged couple that actually met through the site. I am fascinated by internet dating. I don't know why I find it so intriguing, but I do. So, I decided to create a sign-in name so I could check out all of the Houston guys, and lo and behold, who should appear?? The funny thing is that he lied about 90% of his profile. The description of himself - athletic and fit. Couldn't be further from the truth. His breasts are easily larger than mine and I'm not small. Fit? Ok, whatever. So, knowing what I know about this guy and then reading his profile, makes me think that he's either a) delusional, b) insane, or c) a big, fat liar. Whether a, b, or c, it's still not looking good. And, he listed "erotica" as a turn on and is planning to run for office in the near future. Moronic. I mean I'm not a political advisor, but come on!!

You should be forced to have someone else write your profile, a true friend who will tell the TRUTH. Also, if you do not know how to spell, you shouldn't be allowed to even create a profile. Who misspells "museum?" That's not a tough one. I'm rambling now... ok, back to internet dating.

About six months ago I took the eharmony test after lunching with another engaged couple who met via the internet. After taking the agonizingly long exam, I was told I was "unmatchable." Only 2% of the people who take the test receive this result. Great, I thought. My last option as a single gal, not even an option!!! Apparently I didn't fit into a specific personality category.

So, is it possible for normal people to meet other normal people on these sites?? A college roommate did and she's still married. I'm not. My ex-boyfriend did it for a while before we met, and I think he's normal. Ok, maybe not. He's the one that makes clothes for his cat. But, do I just have the wrong attitude? I may actually try match.com just to write about the experience. Who knows, maybe I'll meet my soul mate.


And, goofyforjesus is the best profile name I've seen to date. Gotta love it!!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

first official post as a team

So, the past posts have really just been about Jackson and I getting comfortable with our spot. Feel free to read them, although they don't really follow the planned "he said, she said" format. We will attempt weekly to debate (we use this term lightly) an issue. One that may or may not be interesting, timely, or purposeful. Our first official topic (drumroll, please)...

I LOVE YOU. I KNOW I COULD BE HAPPY WITH YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, BUT I JUST NEED TO SEE WHAT'S INSIDE THESE OTHER PANTIES.

She said...

Who's heard this before?? This is a tough situation you may have found yourself in once or twice -- the boyfriend that doesn't want to let you go. He says he loves you, wants to be with you, thinks you're a superstar, but he's just not ready. He wants to see other people. UGH. So, you just keep thinking to yourself, if I can just hold on, I know he's going to realize there isn't anyone better. Well, he's probably not. He's probably going to spend the rest of his life searching. Let him!! Chances are he's probably gay, and will be searching until he realizes he wants to actually wear panties, not get inside them.

He said...

Someone very wise once said, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Why so much animosity, miss? Now if you have the inclination that the guy you were bedding down with may be more interested in My Little Ponies as opposed to Transformers, or that he would like to be sporting your squirrel covers as opposed to them being on the floor next to his bed, why put yourself through all this to begin with?

Let's say he's not a gay transvestite, were y'all in a committed relationship or were you two dating? If dating, then you knew that going into this, and can't hate the guy for making a trip to Baskin and Robbins and trying all 31 flavors? You know what I'm saying? It is possible to like/love more than one person at a time. In all actuality quite normal if you view it from an animal kingdom perspective. We (humans) and I think maybe a handful of other species, tortoises, lobsters...have life partners and yet humans have the option to break up or divorce so we can take humans out of that equation I guess. On top of that, tortoises and lobsters just meet once a year to hook up and reproduce and then leave the kids to fend for themselves. Thus making it unnatural to commit and two becoming one. I'm just saying.

Don't hate the playa just hate the game.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

here comes the rain again...

Falling on my head like a new emotion...Are those the right words? I have this issue where I sub in my own words if I can't make out what the artist is singing. For example, I used to think they said "You're so scary" instead of "Voices carry."

So this blog action, new to it. I mean I have read them before but never contributed. Our thoughts for this blog "the tall (being me at 6'4") and the short (her being 5'1") of it" will follow a he said, she said format.

With that said, from the post "getting on with getting on." I'm not sure that I said, "you're not cool...," but I could have and I'm sure it was after her claiming that she is in fact "way cool." However isn't my alleged statement somewhat justified since she is "rockin' out to Mariah Carey." Really? Rockin'? Hmm ok. How 'bout that Mariah though? Blam Blam! Welcome to the gun show!

Now she should feel "cool and brave" after making the break from the cat loving, dust busting, seamstress with the look of a gecko, not to be confused with Geico.

As you can see I don't really know what to talk about, nothing pressing at this time. This rain is insane. I went to lunch with a coworker at Yo Mama's Soulfood on 'Toine (two thumbs way up) and had to bust out hovercraft style to make it back to the office. I am supposed to run tonight so hopefully things will dry out.

And real quick, I'm by no way cool myself and don't pretend to be.

what it takes

So, the other day Jackson decided I needed to read an MSN article titled, "When your ex is dating again." It was full of the usual advice -- vent once a week, talk to your friends until they feel like dumping you, too, stay away from the places you used to go with the turd wad, etc. You know, right? But lately, I've had more success doing the following... imagining my ex is the man that was arrested for masturbating in that poor girl's lingerie caught on a crappy home camera, thinking about my ex making costumes for his cat (yup, he sews), working on a "I hate Dr. Love" t-shirt (yup, I sew), and writing lots of new versions of the Jake Geils' hit, "love stinks." I guess the moral of this story is... whatever works. As long as you don't get caught on tape by a crappy home camera!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

crap, it's Santa


happy holidays! Posted by Picasa

weekend ideas
For those of you looking for something to do at midnight this Saturday, you may want to relive the 80s. MFA, as part of its Basquiat exhibit, will be showing Purple Rain. Can you think of anything better?? Really?

Friday night Dale Watson will be at the Continental Club. Show starts at 10pm.

getting on with getting on

Jackson informed me this morning that I am not cool (daily occurrence actually). After having mustered enough courage to leave an ex-boyfriend (a truly pitiful one at that) that I couldn't shake, I was feeling fairly sassy this morning rockin' out to Mariah Carey's "Shake it Off." Yup, Mariah Carey. It's like Jen Aniston. I only started to appreciate them after they'd had nervous breakdowns and been dumped. So, anyway, the point is, I am feeling cool and brave. I'm pretty sure it was the "wanting something you can't have" syndrome. So here's to getting on. Cheers.